Archæology

The assorted finds of Artefact Publishing

Speed with purpose

Whilst clearing out my inbox (which is to say, making a minimal dent in the pile of old messages several thousand deep), I came across a copy of the KPMG Consulting values, and (after my last entry) I must share the description of one of them, “Speed with purpose”.

We act with a sense of speed and purpose in all that we do. If we are going to do something, then do it now, and do it right, and make sure it generates results we want. We must constantly increase our business velocity to stay ahead of our clients' needs and to be out in front of the market with our solutions. The speed of our execution and our ability to learn and improve allow us to create value for our clients and achieve market-leading results. Clients must see real return on their investments and they expect to see it quickly. Our ability to live up to these expectations is a strong differentiator. We must act with both urgency and common sense to get results. We make decisions, correct mistakes quickly, and embrace innovation, while insisting on results that bring real business value.

How anyone can flourish when half-yearly performance reviews ask one to evaluate one’s conformance to values such as this is beyond me. Perhaps I’m just not one of those “Leaders who serve” (that’s a value?).

Did I mention that I love my (current) job?

Posted by jamie on March 17, 2004 21:58+13:00

Comments

I think I can now reveal that I regularly gave snarky replies on my BearingPoint performance reviews.

We were asked how we personally demonstrated company values. Under "Integrity", I put: "I try hard not to lie to customers". Under "Teamwork" I replied that teamwork by definition was a collective activity, and asking for an individual example was oxymoronic. Etc.

No one ever said anything.

This:

If we are going to do something, then do it now, and do it right.
is pure comedy gold.

Posted by: stephen on March 19, 2004 10:54+13:00

Nice to know I wasn’t the only one, though your definition of snarky is rather nicer than mine. But then I think I may have pointed out that if we were really flexible and intent on giving the client the best of everything, we wouldn’t make them websites which were an accessibility nightmare — among many other hypocrises and garbage corporate speak (“By leveraging the talent of each individual and encouraging everyone to be the best they can be, we will create a highly motivated organization that will achieve breakthrough results”).

I did get a comment the last one I did, which was directed at my manager from the High Up: “We need to talk!”, but it turned out okay because I was unlikely to be around by the time the next review happened. And so it proved to be.

I don’t know which is worse about your line: the sickening irony, or the way it turns a “we” into an imperative directed at me (and the other people who actually did the work).

Posted by: Jamie on March 19, 2004 17:19+13:00

While not wanting to be smug (as my own place of work has quirks of its own) one of the final nails for us as clients was when we got hold of an MP3 of the KPMG corporate song. This was what The Web had become. It was hard to stop laughing. And a bit sad, in a way - The Web: from hot, to not, in a few short years.

Posted by: Alan on March 29, 2004 21:41+12:00